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I got caught up in a Facebook thread this morning where a guy made fun of people like me who claim that their online friends are their "real" friends. Apparently, that's lame. And a sign of loneliness. Because, according to him, everrrrybody knows that you can't be "real" friends with someone if you've never met them in real life. Duh.
Now, this wasn't the first time I've heard somebody say this ... unfortunately, even my family feels the same way - they just don't understand why I talk about some of my Instagram followers as if they're my real friends. "You act like your followers actually care about you. They're not your real friends."
Riiiight. Because I haven't met them in person. I forgot.
Is that the definition of a friend?
I looked it up.
Now, this wasn't the first time I've heard somebody say this ... unfortunately, even my family feels the same way - they just don't understand why I talk about some of my Instagram followers as if they're my real friends. "You act like your followers actually care about you. They're not your real friends."
Riiiight. Because I haven't met them in person. I forgot.
Is that the definition of a friend?
I looked it up.
According to Dictionary.com, a friend is, "a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard." According to Oxford Dictionary, a friend is, "a person who has similar interests and opinions as yourself, and who will help and support you." And, according to Urban Dictionary, a friend is, "someone who makes you laugh 'till you pee your pants, cries for you when one of your special items disappears, and chips in when you don't have enough money to get an ice cream."
P/S I threw the Urban Dictionary definition in there for all of my Millennial readers ... holla!
Anywaaaay, none of those definitions say anything about the requirement of friends having to live in the same town. Or meeting face-to-face.
What it does say, however, is that friends help and support each other.
Kind of like how, when I hurt my back and was stuck laying on the floor for three months last year, I got constant messages from my followers every day checking in with me to see how I was doing, and sending me well wishes. Several of them even private messaged me with links to articles they found on how to prevent back stiffness, and the best stretches to do to relieve sciatic nerve pain.
Or, like when I joined The Elephant Pants last year and wrote about my biggest insecurity for Anti Bullying Prevention Month ... I received almost 800 likes on my Instagram post, and 150 comments from my followers with nothing but love and support ... not including the many messages I received privately. (Fact: I still, to this day, haven't been able to read those comments because it just makes me cry that so many people took the time to write such sweet words to me.)
Or, like when I wrote about how I received a comment from a guy saying that my thigh looked fat in a picture and received 125 comments within 24 hours with amazing words of support and encouragement.
Anywaaaay, none of those definitions say anything about the requirement of friends having to live in the same town. Or meeting face-to-face.
What it does say, however, is that friends help and support each other.
Kind of like how, when I hurt my back and was stuck laying on the floor for three months last year, I got constant messages from my followers every day checking in with me to see how I was doing, and sending me well wishes. Several of them even private messaged me with links to articles they found on how to prevent back stiffness, and the best stretches to do to relieve sciatic nerve pain.
Or, like when I joined The Elephant Pants last year and wrote about my biggest insecurity for Anti Bullying Prevention Month ... I received almost 800 likes on my Instagram post, and 150 comments from my followers with nothing but love and support ... not including the many messages I received privately. (Fact: I still, to this day, haven't been able to read those comments because it just makes me cry that so many people took the time to write such sweet words to me.)
Or, like when I wrote about how I received a comment from a guy saying that my thigh looked fat in a picture and received 125 comments within 24 hours with amazing words of support and encouragement.
My Instagram followers have also helped me to get over my body issues with my muscular legs, given me advice on choosing my last three pairs of running shoes, helped me celebrate my birthdays, and cheered me on with the training I've done for different runs.
One of my followers even became my virtual running buddy who I write to when I need to whine about my bad runs, one became my relationship therapist who I go to when I need to vent, and another one has become my very bestest who I can't imagine my days without.
One of my followers even became my virtual running buddy who I write to when I need to whine about my bad runs, one became my relationship therapist who I go to when I need to vent, and another one has become my very bestest who I can't imagine my days without.
I feel amazingly close to my followers ... I've seen their vacation photos, sent love when they were sick, and have gotten to follow along with their pregnancy journeys. I've helped celebrate birthdays, anniversaries, births, and marriages. I've had an inside look into their lives and cultures and foods and families and relationships all over the world ... in places I didn't even know existed. My heart has ached for my followers who have went through losing their husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, and children. And, I've been empowered by the many, many stories from my followers who have shared how they have handled life with cancer, AIDS, racial tension, poverty, alcoholism, and abuse.
So, no, Mr. Facebook guy ... I haven't met all of my Instagram followers and never will. I don't even know 99.9% of their names - just their Instagram handles. But ... my relationship with them fits the definition of a "friend" across the board and, for that reason, I'm proud and grateful to say that my life is enriched with many, many real friends all over the world.
So, no, Mr. Facebook guy ... I haven't met all of my Instagram followers and never will. I don't even know 99.9% of their names - just their Instagram handles. But ... my relationship with them fits the definition of a "friend" across the board and, for that reason, I'm proud and grateful to say that my life is enriched with many, many real friends all over the world.
How do you feel? Do you have online friends who you consider to be "real friends" even though you've never met them in person? Let me know what you think in the comments below.
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